alas, my wicked heart remains...

sometimes i wish i could literally pull out my brain and dig out my heart - yes, exactly like indiana jones and the temple of doom! how utterly sinful i am! as i sat in on the pastors' conference my mind wandered to other things, seemingly more glorious things than that of God's Perfect and Holy Word. actually, i knew not more glorious but quite the opposite! i knew it grieved my Savior and yet there i sat, my mind made up to be quite indignant. how rude! how shameful! how appalling! i knew i would come home and after hours of not flinching at my sin, finally fall on my knees and beg for forgiveness and how i needed grace. why on earth would God forgive such a knowing sinner? i can only have one master - oh, how i pray that it is the Living God alone! have mercy on me, powerful and omniscient God of the universe! wash me clean by the blood of Your Perfect Son, Jesus Christ. and so i must rest on the fact that "if i confess my sins, He is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse me from all unrighteousness." oh, how i pray He would cleanse me completely now - take me Home, Lord, that i may never sin against You again!