"I AM" Edited

I am stubborn and sensitive but loved tremendously.
I wonder about the unknown future.
I hear too many words filled with too many meanings.
I see people trying to spin the world on their finger.
I want to know everything or be content with knowing nothing.
I am stubborn and sensitive but loved tremendously.

I pretend I am not anxious.
I feel inward, outward, upward, downward, but not necessarily happy all the time.
I touch people that I love.
I worry when I’m not trusting God.
I cry because I cannot stop sinning.
I am stubborn and sensitive but loved tremendously.

I understand that God is in control.
I say that Jesus is God no matter what anyone believes.
I dream about redemption and perfection with Him.
I try to persevere in faith no matter what I’m feeling.
I hope in Christ alone.
I am stubborn and sensitive but loved tremendously.

Pic & Poem

My new friends...



I wrote this poem in 8th grade and a lot of it is still very true. I thought it was interesting. I'm trying to rewrite it and am almost complete. When I'm finished, it will be posted.

"I Am"

I am stubborn and sensitive but loved tremendously.
I wonder about my future as a mother and wife.
I hear words with no meaning.
I see the world spinning around me.
I want desires that I shall never receive.
I am stubborn and sensitive but loved tremendously.

I pretend that I have no troubles at all.
I feel mother’s love.
I touch adorable puppies stuffed and alive.
I worry about not doing my best.
I cry when being hurt by a close friend.
I am stubborn and sensitive but loved tremendously.

I understand that God is my creator.
I say things that will never come true.
I dream about tomorrow and how it will conclude.
I try to be worthy of my family’s love.
I hope that my fantasies will come true.
I am stubborn and sensitive but loved tremendously.

The Bible

The Bible contains the mind of God, the state of man, the way of salvation,
the doom of sinners, and the happiness of believers. Its doctrines are
holy, its precepts are binding, its histories are true, and its decisions are
immutable. Read it to be wise, believe it to be safe, and practice it to
be holy. It contains light to direct you, food to support you, and comfort
to cheer you.

It is the traveler's map, the pilgrim's staff, the pilot's compass, the
soldier's sword, and the Christian's charter. Here Paradise is restored,
Heaven opened, and the gates of hell disclosed.

CHRIST is its grand subject, our good the design, and the glory of God its
end.

It should fill the memory, rule the heart, and guide the feet. Read
it slowly, frequently, and prayerfully. It is a mine of wealth, a paradise
of glory, and a river of pleasure. It is given you in life, will be opened
at the judgment, and be remembered forever. It involves the highest
responsibility, will reward the greatest labor, and will condemn all who trifle
with its sacred contents.

--The Gideons International

alive by grace...

"If you confess your sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

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alas, my wicked heart remains...

sometimes i wish i could literally pull out my brain and dig out my heart - yes, exactly like indiana jones and the temple of doom! how utterly sinful i am! as i sat in on the pastors' conference my mind wandered to other things, seemingly more glorious things than that of God's Perfect and Holy Word. actually, i knew not more glorious but quite the opposite! i knew it grieved my Savior and yet there i sat, my mind made up to be quite indignant. how rude! how shameful! how appalling! i knew i would come home and after hours of not flinching at my sin, finally fall on my knees and beg for forgiveness and how i needed grace. why on earth would God forgive such a knowing sinner? i can only have one master - oh, how i pray that it is the Living God alone! have mercy on me, powerful and omniscient God of the universe! wash me clean by the blood of Your Perfect Son, Jesus Christ. and so i must rest on the fact that "if i confess my sins, He is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse me from all unrighteousness." oh, how i pray He would cleanse me completely now - take me Home, Lord, that i may never sin against You again!

don't forget...

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If only you had been a fly on the wall...

Here’s what happened…

Late Saturday night I was sitting at my computer reading through all my saved files that I haven’t read in years. Junotte was busying herself in the kitchen as usual. All of the sudden, she says, “Uh oh!” I look over and see a small shadow coming up over the stove. I do not pay too much attention at first because Junotte seems so calm. About a minute later I realize Junotte is just staring at the stove so I go over to take a look at what’s happening. To my horror, a huge cockroach is sitting on top of our stove wiggling his little feelers around. So we calmly think about what we should do. Junotte won’t kill it. I won’t kill it. We don’t have Raid. Our neighbors are gone for the night. The next best thing? Junotte tells me to call Pat. She tells me that she’ll do anything he says except hit it with a shoe. Of course, that’s exactly what Pat tells us to do. The cockroach is still on the stove. So I ask if it flies. Pat says that it might a little. The next thing you know, Junotte and I are both on chairs. Pat says to call back in 15 minutes if we still need help. I told him that if we weren’t in church the next day, they would know where to find us. So we make all the gadgets to try and kill the cockroach (i.e., flyswatter taped to the end of a long pole). Junotte goes into the other corner of the room and starts praying to the Lord to give me courage. I’m saying to myself over and over again, “Get mad at the cockroach! Get mad at the cockroach!” To make a long enough story come to a rapid end… we both end up on chairs again and on the phone talking to Linda (she should be a 911 answerer the way she was trying to calm us down). The cockroach isn’t on the stove anymore by this time. We made him unhappy so he ran across the counter, I jumped onto my bed in the bedroom, Junotte’s trying to throw Boric Acid on him which supposedly kills cockroaches. He flutters down to the carpet, up on the wall, across the ceiling, and all the sudden there’s a knock on the door. Junotte races to let in Pat and Matt. Smack! The cockroach falls to the floor. Smack! The cockroach is dead. “Good night!” Pat says. I think I’ll have enough courage next time.

Gecko

I have a gecko living in my apartment. Any ideas for names?

last blog for a while

Sunday afternoon, January 8th

Weno, Chuuk, Micronesia

I pobably won't write much on this blog for the next five months... we'll see...

The Pacific Ocean is really big. And I have a personal relationship wih the God who made it, by the blood of His Son. Amazing, eh?

http://theuttermostparts.blogspot.com