...more E. Elliot wisdom

"Happy the race of men, if that love were to rule your hearts which rules the heavens!" wrote Boethius from the dungeon where he awaited his death in the fifth century. I wanted to be ruled by that Love, but found myself in danger of being ruled by a lesser.

...

I wanted to know Christ. ...this ambition was going to cost me something. I began slowly to learn that Christ can be known only in the path of obedience. "Every man who knows my commandments and obeys them is the man who really loves me, and every man who really loves me will himself be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and make myself known to him."

Obedience proves love, and love opens the heart to knowledge. Never a day goes by that does not bring fresh opportunities to know Him - if only we will do what He says. It is easy enough to give assent to the principle, once it is pointed out. It is not so easy to recognize our chance to put it into practice, especially when that chance comes in an unpalatable form. This huge unfulfilled desire - a means for knowing Christ? I could not see it that way.

...

"What do you want more than anything else in the world?"

Jim Elliot was the first answer that sprang to mind. But I had not forgotten my ten-year commitment (God help me, I could not change it). Hoping I spoke the truth, I answered, "To know You, Lord."

"Do you want My will, at any cost?"

The truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth. I couldn't pull any wool over God's eyes. Was it yes to this question?

"Yes, Lord."

...

(In her college days, before Jim, she had written this...)

Perhaps some future day, Lord, Thy strong hand
Will lead me to the place where I must stand
Utterly alone.

Alone, O Gracious Lover, but for Thee;
I shall be satisfied if I can see
Jesus only.

I do not know Thy plan for years to come,
My spirit finds in Thee its perfect home,
Sufficiency.

Lord, all my desire is before Thee now,
Lead on, no matter where, no matter how -
I trust in Thee.

...

C.S. Lewis wrote,

"In awful and surprising truth, we are the objects of His love. You asked for a loving God: you have one. The great spirit you so lightly invoked, the "lord of terrible aspect," is present: not a senile benevolence that drowsily wishes you to be happy in your own way, not the cold philanthropy of a conscientious magistrate, nor the care of a host who feels responsible for the comfort of his guests, but the consuming fire Himself, the Love that made the worlds, persistent as the artist's love for his work and despotic as a man's love for a dog, provident and venerable as a father's love for a child, jealous, inexorable, exacting as love between the sexes."

...

...for the Lord of Hosts is absolutely sovereign. He holds power over the universe, He hold authority over my life - not because He usurps the rights with which He endowed me in creation, but because I had specifically asked Him to be Lord of my life. I had prayed as earnestly as a child and a teenager and a woman can pray, Thy will be done. The coming of this transcendent authority into one's life is bound to be an active thing, an immense disruption at times.

...

Yet I have come to understand even sufering, through the transforming power of the Cross, as a gift, for in this broken world, in our sorrow, He gives us Himself; in our loneliness He comes to meet us, as in George Matheson's He came as the Love that would never let him.

In His death Jesus Christ gave us life. The willingness of the Son of God to commit Himself into the hands of criminals became the greatest gift ever given - the Bread of the world, in mercy broken, thus the worst thing that ever happened became the best thing that ever happened.

...

(And another journal entry from her college days.)

Lord, I do once more acknowledge, with all my heart, that I am Thine. No claim have I upon this life, past, present, or future. I am all, all Thine own. Thou hast said, "Fear not; for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine... I will be with thee... I am the Lord thy God... I have loved thee... I am with thee." Therefore, O dear Lord and Master, Redeemer, Lover, Friend, Beloved, do Thou work out Thine entire will in my life henceforth at any cost, in the time that is left to me on this earth. How short that may be I do not know at all, but I trust Thee. "Thy testimonies have I taken as a heritage for ever: for they are the rejoicing of my heart." "He shall preserve thy soul."

(excerpts taken from chapters 5, 6, & 7 of The Path of Loneliness)

E. Elliot wisdom

"We may be earnestly desiring to be obedient and holy. But we may be missing the fact that it is here, where we happen to be at this moment and not in another place or another time, that we may learn to love Him - here where it seems He is not at work, where His will seems obscure or frightening, where He is not doing what we expected Him to do, where He is most absent. Here and nowhere else is the appointed place. If faith does not go to work here, it will not go to work at all."

O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in Thee;
I give Thee back the life I owe,
That in Thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O Light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to Thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in Thy sunshine's blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to Thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from Thee;
I lay in dust life's glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

~George Matheson

"Therefore, holy brothers, you who share in a heavenly calling, consider Jesus..." Hebrews 3:1a "In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence. Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered." Hebrews 5:7-8

Learning to Trust

God's been teaching me to trust Him. Not by Him saying, "See, you should have trusted me," when I don't and then something happens and I realize I should have. Really nothing has happened, well, perhaps a few things. With my desire to trust and, by His grace, knowledge that I will praise Him no matter the circumstance, He is ever so gently and ever so intelligently teachig me to trust Him. I could be a fool and get mad and turn from Him and take things into my own hands, oh how small and clumsy they are to God's sovereign hands! By His grace, I will praise Him still... Yes, I will praise Him still...

God is good. God is gracious. He sacrificed His Son for me while I was yet a sinner. There is no greater thing than to be saved by the grace of God for the glory of God.

"But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works." Psalm 73:28

"Pride and Prejudice"

I've read the book three times, seen the black and white movie once, seen the 5&1/2 hour version too many times to count, and have now just come back from seeing this newly released one which all the critics have been raving about. Why does this fictional story interest me so much? Why do I admire Mr. Darcy so much? His riches? Certainly not. His looks? Decent but "not handsome enough to tempt me." Perhaps his confidence, his unceasing love, and his willingness to sacrifice anything for the sake of that love. And compared to Gilbert Blythe? Of course, Elizabeth and Anne are beautiful.

Read http://www.diebeforeyoudie.blogspot.com/ on "Reforming Marriage"...

Thanksgiving

"And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying, 'Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen.'"

Revelation 7:11-12

Amen and amen and amen! (So let it be and so let it be and so let it be!)

smiles galore

The quote from my previous post was from "You've Got Mail" that I gave to my mom for her birthday. We've watched it five times in two weeks!

My mom bought me a sweater from Banana Republic for Christmas. She said it wasn't her favorite. She said it looked like something out of Little Women.

I get to see Tim and Raquel on Guam! This is just absolutely wondeful. I never would have thought that this would ever happen in the whole wide world but here it is... happening! Woohoo, woohoo, woohoo!

Praise the Lord for laughter, rejoicing, family, and friends!

peaceful excitement

these are the classes i will be teaching at mizpah:

sophomore world geography
junior world geography
senior advanced english
senior speech
New Testament survey

"i... can't... help... myself..."

My Great God - The Great God - The One and Only Creator of the Universe!

"Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works."
Psalm 73:25-28

this was something else, not the fly

i found something earlier today while i was cleaning my room... i wondered where it came from and why i had kept it around but wasn't using it... now i don't even remember what it was... where did all this junk come from?

moth and dust... err, more like fly and dust

yesterday, cynthia and i were reminiscing... i have a dead fly, in a plastic bag, in a box, which was given to me by cynthia, which she found on her sister's bed, while she was talking on the phone to me... and it all happened years ago... and i never threw it away... why is that?

"God and Me" ...written to a friend

I know He is faithful but I continue to learn to trust. I've been pleading for certain things, certain answers, certain questions to be able to be dissolved, no matter what the answer knowing I will praise Him still. But it is so hard for me to patiently wait for the answer. How I long to be perfectly content by trusting Him! Pray for me!

Notes from Brother Lawrence

"That we ought to give ourselves up to God, with regard both to things temporal and spiritual, and seek our satisfaction only in the fulfilling of His will, whether He lead us by suffering or by consolation, for all would be equal to a soul truly resigned." ... "That to arrive at such resignation as God requires, we should watch attentively over all the passions which mingle as well in spiritual things as in those of a grosser nature; that God would give light concerning those passions to those who truly desire to serve Him."

The Mercy and Grace of God Almighty

"The word of the Lord came to Jeremiah a second time, while he was still shut up in the court of the guard; 'Thus says the Lord who made the earth, the Lord who formed it to establish it - the Lord is his name; Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known. For thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, concerning the houses of this city and the houses of the kings of Judah that were torn down to make a defense against the siege mounds and against the sword: They are coming in to fight against the Chaldeans and to fill them with the dead bodies of men whom I shall strike down in my anger and my wrath, for I have hidden my face from this city because of all their evil. Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them adundance of prosperity and security. I will restore the fortunes of Judah and the fortunes of Israel, and rebuild them as they were at first. I will cleanse them from all the guilt of their sin and rebellion against me. And this city shall be to me a name of joy, a praise and a glory before all the nations of the earth who shall hear of all the good that I do for them. They shall fear and tremble because of all the good and all the prosperity I provide for it.'"

Jeremiah 33:1-9

GRRRR...

I hate sin.

Faith and Repentance

Lyrics by Dr. Wong

Faith is gift of God,
A means of enjoying grace.
Faith is receiving Christ,
Trusting in His saving work.
Faith is turning from sin,
To the righteous ways of God.
Faith can please the Father,
It can overcome the world.

...

Lord, give me more faith, more repentance, more knowledge of Your grace, more knowledge of Your Son, more knowledge of the sanctifying work of Your Spirit, more knowledge of Your Word... and, Lord, make me to obey... for the advancement of Your kingdom, the love of Your people, and the praise and glory of You.

...

S. Ferguson on Repentance - Psalm 51

"You have not yet considered the greatness of the weight of sin."

Repent ...so that more people will return to God.

- recognize your failure
- gaze upon the true nature of your heart in all its evil
- you must know the "appalling sinfulness" of your own heart in order to experience the grace of God
- sin is serious and has impact on your life
- ask forgiveness - "blot out my transgressions"
- it is God who we sin against hence whom we must ask forgiveness from
- David's sin was the "utter unfitness" of being in the presence of God
- repentance is rooted in God's amazing grace
- David could not do anything - no sacrifice would suffice - it was according to God's steadfast love - it is God who must have mercy on the sinner
- repentance is the beginning of joy
- rejoice in forgiveness - it's this that transforms your life - SING!
- the whole of the Christian life should be repentance - until the end when we'll be transformed